I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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