drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Randomize
