dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
