So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
