doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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