love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
