I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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