just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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