drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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