Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
