There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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