i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
