Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
