She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
