There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
