Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
