It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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