We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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