i may or may not be watching the land before time
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
