is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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