Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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