Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
