so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Also, beer. Big fan.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
