i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
