i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
