i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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