i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
