no, he came in my armpit
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize