I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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