Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize