I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
