Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
