It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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