Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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