i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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