Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
