Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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