is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
