If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm too high and old for this...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
