"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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