i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Never underestimate the power of titties
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
