i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
