I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
