brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize