is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
