Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
