i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We have started to decorate penises.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
