Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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