I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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