the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
