something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
