oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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