...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
