At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
