i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I need water and some morals
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
