strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
