Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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