I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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