If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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