thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i dont even know how to be here
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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