As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
