see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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