that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
