This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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